Allowing Negativity to Rule your Life & Letting things go.

I am not one for always feeling doom and gloom, and I REALLLY think the word anxiety / depression is thrown about way too much and I’m not necessarily talking about those things……but occasionally I allow small, stupid, irrelevant things really get to me and own my feelings.

…It may be something as ‘petty’ as seeing two of your good friends check-in somewhere together on Facebook : they didn’t invite you..WHY didn’t they invite you, what’s wrong with me?! You get the sinking feeling, the knot in the stomach, the overthinking, the angst and the worry. It’s bizarre how such little things can really ruin your day, and I personally just try and help myself get out of this frame of mind….you have to.

I think with the growth of social media too, it can maybe make little niggles and worries worse….you see EVERYTHING. How ‘great’ and twee other people’s lives are, seeing other people get invited to amazing places, doing amazing jobs that you feel you should be doing, having relationships that you lust after. Feelings of rejection, loneliness, failure, jealousy, self-hatred are common with negativity.

Letting this negativity rule the way you feel is really tough and it really shifts your focus for the hour/day/week from something positive and getting things accomplished to this time being spent feeling negative, unable to focus, unable to complete simple tasks and not being able to rid yourself of this horrible deep-rooted feeling.

This post is about letting go…and ways to help yourself let things go. A negative mind will never give you a positive life. The list below is something I have personally compiled just from books, a bit of internet and how I personally deal with things when I allow stuff to get on top of me that really shouldn’t.

Cry it out.  Acceptance is the way. Whatever has made you feel angry / upset / sad …accept what it is and maybe why and try to understand it and rationalise it. Don’t hang on to the rationalising but too much, sometimes you cannot find the answers you need so you just need to ‘file away’ this *thing* and move onto something else.

Meditation/ Yoga. I haven’t personally indulged in this THAT much but this can be something as little as just being in a quiet room, clearing your head and allowing your mind to think clear thoughts and de-clutter.

Engage in physical activity. Put the phone and laptop away. Get outside, even if just for a 15 minute walk to the shop instead of driving.

Sweep out your social media Constantly getting wound up by the same braggy, brash, rude people? GET RID. Facebook is a great example of having too many friends who aren’t friends. Unfollow if you cannot bear to unfriend, then you don’t have to read things and see things you don’t want to. Sometimes it takes something quite big in your life to make you become ruthless and want to rid yourself of more negativity. When my mum become really ill I had a major clear out – it put things in perspective and made me thing ‘Why the f*ck am I even allowing imbeciles on my Twitter /FB/ whatever to make ME feel shitty – BYE BITCH’ (!!)

On the flipside, people (myself included) can get a little upset when people unfollow/unfriend them but hey….is it someone you really know?….a real friend? I doubt it…suck it up & think of all the AMAZING friends you have.

Focus your energy on things you can control Make a list of things you need to do. Even if I have a week off I know there are so many things I want to and need to do. Things such as update your website / blog / learn something new / get in touch with an old friend you’ve been meaning to / paint that spare room / open that savings account / sort your finances / learn how to bake THAT cake. Keeping yourself busy and focused doesn’t allow time for negative thoughts.

Think of Others. One of my favourites. When you are feeling like everything in your life is so shitty…..’why me’ etc etc. Then just think how lucky YOU ARE: Health-wise, family, friends, job. There are so many people in horrific situations all around the world – no family, no home, no money, no job prospects, no education….nothing. There are many people who would LOVE to have your bad days. Slap yo’ self fool!

Take Responsibility. You are in control of how you feel : choose happiness. Stop the negativity, work out where it comes from, sometimes you may even be responsible for it through certain actions and things you do and have done. Recognise this and take responsibility.

‘Loving myself means letting goJust that. Remember it. Write it down.

Organise your desk / space /room. One of my favourite things to do when I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and unable to focus on certain tasks. Get up and organise! Tidy your blogging desk / tidy your makeup / throw away / spring clean / de-clutter and ORGANISE. Not only will it focus your mind on this activity, it will make you feel great and refreshed afterwards.

Laugh. It really is the best medicine. Even if you are sat there feeling really sad and gloomy and pissed off….just force a smile out and instantly you can feel a wave of pressure release. Arrange to see that friend who always makes you laugh with their stupid stories and wit….put a stupid movie on Netflix or get on YouTube and watch something stupid. I can highly recommend this.

Do you get the dreaded and overwhelming angst? Do you find yourself over-thinking things and letting it bring you down? What helps you move on and feel better?