Hello, baby boy.
It’s been a month of the newborn baby bubble so I just wanted to introduce to you the latest addition to our crazy lil’ family that is baby Stellan. He was born on 29.08.23 weighing a healthy 7lb12 and is doing so very well!
I really feel he has made our family so complete and it just feels so special and I feel like the luckiest mum in the world with this gorgeous boy joining our crew. It’s all very smushy, I know, but it’s hard to explain the emotions I think.
He is just 9 weeks now and I feel like I’ve found my feet and routine, hence why I am finally getting around to introducing him on here : I haven’t wanted to be too ‘busy’ or rushed when I am just about managing to make myself a coffee and put on 1 x laundry load in a day! I forgot how hard those first few weeks are! It’s pure baby, feeding, sleep, waking up in the night, trying to keep the house in a reasonable state and keeping on top of the washing when you have multiple baby clothes changes a day and about 10 muslins a day to wash!
I had a traumatic birth with my daughter nearly 5 years ago now so I had a lot of worries and anxiety in the lead-up to his birth (which ended up being a planned c section) and I’m happy to say it was definitely a better (not perfect!), but a way better experience for us as a family. I’m so happy to be on the ‘other side’ and as I write this 4 weeks post-partum, I am feeling almost back to normal. Baby no.2 is definitely easier in terms of knowing what to expect and you’ve been through it but honestly, I forgot so much and even in the 5 year gap, things have changed and moved on with all things ‘baby’ – best practices and products etc. So I still feel a bit ‘new mum’ and winging it all a bit.
Whilst we do the night feeds, juggle having 2, and get back into the routine of all things ‘baby’, we are soaking up that bubble of newness and making the most of these precious few weeks of firsts and learning.
Being a 40+ mum, I feel like this pregnancy was a little tougher mentally than I had imagined and I have struggled quite a lot with loneliness, my emotions and the worry of what could go wrong. Maybe we are all a bit like that no matter what the age, but I cannot remember feeling this emotionally unstable in my last pregnancy. Perhaps a combination of the anxiety around the birth and feeling like I had no one to talk to about it. One thing about being an ‘older’ mum is that so many of your friends are at different stages in their lives ; some of my friend’s children are starting college and university and here I am having a baby! So that has definitely contributed to me feeling quite isolated and sometimes a little helpless when I wanted a listening ear. Perhaps this will now push me out of my comfort zone and make me get to those local baby classes to meet new people and other new mums. Yikes!
As I am self-employed I am dipping back into work as and when I feel ready (not yet, don’t worry!) – I think I want to really find my feet, soak up the newborn moments and try and be the best mum I can be without allowing myself to be pulled away too quickly. This is the last baby I will have and I now realise that they really do grow up fast and these moments aren’t meant to be missed or overlooked. It makes me feel quite emotional thinking about it.