I’m not trying to preach here or make out I am the epitome of how to conduct yourself online. I can do better. I am still learning and I am trying. I just wanted to share a few things that has made my lil’ space a little more positive over the last few months.
I think at the moment we are reflecting more than ever on our social media etiquette, how we go about our ways and the way in which we communicate online. A few months ago, I wrote this post about how I was stepping away from Twitter for a bit……simply because it wasn’t doing much for my mental health and it was such a good reflection and made me realise what I was missing / what I wasn’t and how to utilise it in a better manner…..for me.
If, like SO many others of us at the moment, you are feeling overwhelmed with what you are seeing or dealing with online…..step away, put the phone down, delete the app (even if temporarily), remove yourself from that toxic Whats’app group, step away from that mum’s facebook group that leaves you feeling like shit, get back to basics in real life communication and be strict with yourself. It can and will make a world of difference.
Whenever I feel the need, I put all my social media apps into a folder in the last swipe page across on my phone – so I have to search for it, rather than it being on my home screen and readily available. When I was tempted to open up an app to have a scroll, by the time I had thought about it, got to it, I had that moment to change my mind and not bother.
I had a quiet week-long social media break just a couple of months ago, no one needed to know, I just had a little breather and step away….and you know what, when I came back…..I had missed NOTHING and NOTHING had changed. I just felt better, more energised, more ready to tackle, mute, remove and move one.
Not everyone needs to think about this, hey you may already have your social media space savvied up and it has limited negative impact on your day-to-day….but I think the majority of people who I know struggle with it and a little break could be the best thing you do this week.
It may sound a little harsh, but sometimes your *real* friends need an occasional mute.
I have muted a lot of people I generally really like in real life and am friends with, but sometimes even the way friends conduct themselves online can end up making me feel like crap. It doesn’t make them a bad person, nor myself, but sometimes you have to just silence the things that make you overthink, become envious, worry and that make your feel perhaps inadequate and crappy.
If it invades your thoughts, takes up too much of your time and leaves you feeling anything else except positive…..get ride/mute/bye.
I’m still a real wimp when it comes to unfollowing and removing ; I would love any input on this. I feel honestly guilty about doing so EVEN if a certain person consistently makes me feel bad. If they follow me, then I feel like it’s me being shitty to unfollow them and potentially make them feel crap….Is that utterly bizarre? Even if it’s because we have a blog friend in common, met once back in 2009 or I potentially may see them at a blog event one day….I just feel it may be a little awkward, is this just me?!
I cleared out some of the big-gun Instagrammer KWEENS. This is nothing to do with ‘them’ per se, none of the big influencers I have ever followed have been ‘bad people’ in my eyes, but there was something about the unobtainable life for me that until recently, I didn’t realise was having a negative impact on me.
Whether it be a super-mum who’s snapped back into shape in weeks post-birth, or a superstar blogger who is going on 20 press trips a year (honestly good for her/him!), or the constant Chanel and Balenciaga hauls…..I enjoyed watching and engaging with it all, but secretly it had me feeling a little envious. Wanting and wishing my life to be different and questioning why I don’t have the money to live this life or be that trendy / pretty / slim / popular.
Lastly ; step away from the drama. I for one, can get caught up in online drama, spats, outings and the rest. Just last week I deleted one of my own tweets that was aimed at many, but people took it upon themselves to start singling out, making assumptions, @ ‘ing people and the rest and I felt bad that it was me ‘starting’ the crap. I try hard not to comment on individual people, even celebrities…..what they are wearing, how they look and all the rest. I often think things and see things that I disagree with and want to respond to , then I have a word with myself and question what good it will do if I send that tweet? More of often than not….none.
If I have a personal problem with someone, I will try and sort it out privately rather than whipping up the girl gang frenzy of jump-on’s and cancels.
You don’t *have* to say everything you feel out loud. The amount of people I know and follow who had talked negatively about Caroline Flack over the last couple of years is quite incredible. It’s been a week of tweet deleting I can tell you. Again, it’s a learning curve, it doesn’t make you a TERRIBLE person, unless you aren’t realising your errors or moving forward. You just simply don’t have to say crap about people. I feel like we live in a social media world where we all feel we need to comment and narrate about popular topics to stay relevant.
You don’t need to send that indirect. You don’t have to @ that person because they forgot to put a disclaimer /AD on one single post. You don’t have to be spiteful. You don’t have to say that lipstick doesn’t suit you. You don’t have to give unsolicited mum advice. You don’t have put someone on blast to argue and look for the ‘jump on’.
You don’t have to be a dick.
I am simply trying to find that happy medium of being able to enjoy what social media is all about : being social, meeting like-minded people, having great debates, opening your mind to new points of view, understanding and using it as a tool to promote your business and person. I think we also have to be careful that we don’t lose our freedom of speech and right to say how we feel, and of course, call out people if they are being terrible humans….but it’s maybe time to think about how we do it.