I’ve made it clear from the start that I am a useless pregnant person. I knew NOTHING, I’ve never held a baby and children, in all honesty, scare the SHIT out of me. For these reasons, I tumbled into my pregnancy journey as blind as a bat. There is SO much I have learnt over the last 8 months, and I want to share with you a few things that I wish I had known….
1.) Your body goes INSANE. Tits that feel bruised and that hurt so much you can barely turn over in bed? TICK. Nipples that grow double the size and just go all a little ew and weird? TICK. Piles? TICK. Knees and kankles that keep you up in the night from aching so much? TICK. Acne on your bum? TICK (just me?). Rashes on your face and body that come as quick as they go? TICK. Pelvic pain from it literally stretching and moving in preparation for birth? TICK. Needing to piss every 8.56 minutes? TICK. Leg cramps that come on so strong in the night that you need to leap out of bed to stretch them out? TICK. Wretching for merely daring to brush your teeth in the morning? TICK. I could go on…. but you get the jist.
2.) Your hormones make you cry……a lot. I cried pretty much EVERY day in my first Trimester. Everything is just…..more intense and it’s just something you cannot control. I cried sat alone in the bath, I cried watching a near-10 out of 10 ice skating performance at the Winter Olympics, I sobbed over photos of my mum, I cried when I was feeling unwell and I threw my laptop across the room at my husband in an inane rage : I literally felt I was out of control for the most-part. It definitely calmed down in T2 although I had moments and days of feeling SUPER low/ borderline depressed and I can thankfully say I’ve totally balanced out now in Trimester 3 and I haven’t thrown a laptop for months!
3.) People give you lots of unsolicited advice. Thanks Sharon for pointing out to me on my insta-stories that I shouldn’t be eating *that* Sushi and even good friends who feel the need to instantly Whats’app me all these things I should be doing and avoid. ‘Obviously don’t go near your cat litter, but that’s a given’ quipped one…..erm can I just breathe and get my head round this journey without people TELLING me what I can’t do……when I haven’t asked?! I mean, I absolutely KNOW it’s coming from a good place and I’m sure the majority have good intentions, but I just found it a little patronising and……just no. I didn’t ask, please don’t tell me what I can do with my body and how I should *do* my pregnancy.
4.) There’s no more evocative subject than motherhood. Don’t fu*k with ‘The Mum Squad’ ; they are quite a force. Ask a pregnancy-related question on social media and you will get a response like no other ; people are super passionate about it, their experiences and offering out advice. For the most part, this is AMAZING as I feel anything that I need to know ; I can just reach out and someone will help. I’ve had some great tips and advice via my online pals and I’m forever grateful.
I have also seen the very much judgmental and ‘we know best’ side of mumsville, particularly of late with the *great* breastfeeding debate. You think people are passionate about Brexit just search the breastfeeding hashtag on twitter. I was swept into a whirlwind of arguments, opinions and for the most part, some very self-righteous hags looking down on anyone that don’t or cannot breastfeed. THESE MUMS ARE CRAZY. Also : don’t venture onto Mumsnet. Terrifying place.
5.) Us women are as strong as SHIT. The fact that we can get a big-ass baby out of that thing below is pretty mind-blowing. The body is pretty incredible dealing with all the changes and growth that’s going on. For me, this whole pregnancy thing and something I had never really fathomed before. It has also made me incredibly grateful that I CAN do this, and that I’ve had a relatively straight forward pregnancy, as I know a lot of women cannot for various reasons.