Maybe it’s me getting older…..or going through loss and realising what’s important ; perhaps a combination of things. Either way, over the last few months/year I have become really happy within myself and my friends and I have a clear understanding of what friends are, what they aren’t and that it’s certainly not important to have ‘X’ amount of Facebook friends. It may deem you sociable and popular but more than often the reality is very different. I have found the people who are posting selfies, nights out, status updates umpteen times a day…are the ones who are the unhappiest. It’s like a constant need for attention, approval and ‘like’ gratification.
I’ve come to that point in my life where I have a bit of an atiitude like ‘I don’t need anymore friends in my life’, hence why I am often not desperate to be instantly friendly and social on all occasions. I have great friends, true friends and I don’t need a hundred of them to make me feel socially stable or comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I welcome new friends into my life, but it takes a while before I will accept and trust a person enough to ‘let them in’. I am my own person, I like who I am, and I’m really comfortable being in my own company nowadays. It sounds cliche but when I meet people now, I find myself not having to prove anything or try to make myself appear more interesting to gain their interest…if they don’t like me, then I really don’t care ; not everyone is going to like you, and I’ve come to realise I’m quite intolerant of fake people and bullshit.
Flashback 10 years ago, I was constantly out every day of the week, seeing numerous different ‘friends’, meeting as many people as I possibly could, spreading myself thin, friend requesting everyone in sight and my life was a glorious jumble….albeit really fun, but I’ve moved on since then and I think everyone kind of does at some point. We start to realise the foundations of true friendship.
I keep my circle of friends small, and I’m really happy with that. I know exactly who I can turn to in times of need and who are my real friends are. I think because of this, I am more tight-knit with them so anytime I need, they will ALL be there for me, and me for them. I think I started to realise after my mum passed away ; who was there for me and who wasn’t so much. Some friends who I haven’t spoken to for many years have reached out to me and we have become closer than ever ; but I think that can just be a natural process of changing of circumstances and interests and bonds re-align at certain points in your life.
Sure I have a bunch of friends who are more ‘party friends’ ; fun to go out with and will always want a night out on the town…..but they tend to be the ones who are so interested when times aren’t so fun, you don’t have any money, or you are just generally having a really low period in your life. I’m happy to except that not all *friends* are your true friends, sometimes it may bite you and it will hurt but you just sometimes have to let go of friendships that are one-sided, stressful and people do change and bonds and common interests can be broken quickly.
I turn 34 in less than 2 weeks and I’m just so content in my newer, slow-paced lifestyle. Bring on the gardening, cooking and worrying about what colour to paint the walls at home!
Is this something you have felt or are feeling?!